The Masculinity Exploration Networking and Support (MENS) Society Resources: Advice on Relationships and Sexuality

Sexual Problems
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_index.shtml

Dan Savage's Advice Column and Blog (Discretion is advised!)
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?show=blog

Make Love not Porn
http://blog.ted.com/2009/12/cindy_gallop_ma.php
Related TYEE article
http://thetyee.ca/Life/2009/12/16/MakeLove/

Relationship Advice for Men
http://www.ehow.co.uk/topic_6076_relationship-advice-men.html

Orgasm Research with Dr Mary Roach
http://blog.ted.com/2009/05/qa_with_mary_ro.php

Young Fathers
http://www.young-fathers.org.uk/

The MENS Society Constitution

The MENS Society’s aims and goals in detail;

To encourage a positive male gender identity. We believe that, because gender identity is largely socially constructed, it is important to shape this social construct into one that is beneficial for all in society. To do this, as broad a spectrum of individuals as possible is encouraged to provide input into the gender identity. No minority can be ignored and no majority can be favoured.

To encourage the acquisition of practical skills, regardless of society’s perceptions of their feminine or masculine associations. Traditionally feminine skills such as cookery and stitching will be encouraged and taught, as well as traditionally masculine activities such as DIY and bike repair. These activities shall be open to all, thereby countering the thus far gendered nature of these activities.

To fundraise and raise awareness about male health issues. These will primarily take the shape of prostate and testicular cancer, but will also aim to include campaigns on male depression and heart disease.

To raise awareness of issues facing men in society. These include the under funding of research into male health, the under reported issues of male domestic abuse, male rape, violence towards men on the street, feelings of inadequacy over body shape and image, issues regarding child custody, as well as social stigma towards men in traditionally feminine occupations such as nursing, and the suspicion with which men are viewed when applying for jobs that involve young children.

To educate members on the history and perceptions of masculinity. It is only through learning that the dispelling of both stereotypes and gender mythology can occur. The MENS Society aims to do this in a practical way, through lectures and film showings.

To create a volunteer base for male to male counselling and mentoring, in order to alleviate the current shortage of such volunteers in the community.

To hopefully work closely with both the Riveters and the LGBT society on issues relating to those two groups.

The MENS Society Code of Conduct

All members are encouraged to;

Show respect to all people, whether members or non-members.

Encourage themselves to be educated, and open their minds to new viewpoints.

Deal with opposition, no matter how confrontational, in a calm and benevolent manner.

Behave in a considerate manner during all activities or socials related to the MENS Society.

Voice concerns, if any, over the actions and/or intentions of the MENS Society.

All members risk expulsion for;

Any genuine and unjust discrimination against any individual.

Excessively lewd behaviour during any activity associated with the MENS Society.

Threatening the just and deserved rights of any other group in society.

FAQ’s

Q - Men are not oppressed. Why should they need a society?
A – While the MENS Society does not claim men to be anywhere near as marginalised as women, men do have specific issues that are currently not being dealt with satisfactorily. Issues such as testicular cancer, higher suicide rates, etc. Whilst men are often to blame for the patriarchal society that we live in, men are also affected, many men feel they can’t talk about their feelings, etc, or do not have space to do that. We intend to create that space. Whilst we intend to do some campaigning on mens issues, we also want to get together and have socials and create friendship networks.

Q – Does this group perpetuate the myth of binary gender?
A – No. We recognise that there are folk of non-binary gender, and are inclusive to them (in fact, we are proud to say that we have some as members). Creating a positive gender identity for one gender does not imply that there are only two genders. All activities undertaken by the MENS Society will be ones that anyone can participate in, in a fun and supportive environment.

Q – Surely if you want to campaign, you don’t need a ‘mens society’ just a campaigning group. If you want a social society based on ‘beer drinking’, etc. cant you just set up a ‘beer drinking society’?
A – We want to set up a group that not only campaigns but creates a social network. Therefore we don’t want to be *just a campaigning group, or *just a social group. More importantly, there is no group that aims specifically to establish a positive gender identity for men. We shall make that one of our aims.

Q – Some of the events you have suggested are typically manly. Surely this is all about perpetuating outdated gender stereotypes?
A – I suggested those events because, I quite like to watch Top Gear and I like to play sports. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a political or symbolic thing, its just something I like to do. Lets see what the members of the group want to do and reflect that. If you want to join and suggest other events, feel free to do so. I also enjoy the theatre, opera and art museums. All the activities are open to suggestion, not set in stone.

Q – You're starting a mens society. Does this mean you hate women?
A – No, we actually plan to work closely with both the riveters (UMSU womens rights collective) and the LGBT society because we see that men have a role in both those liberation campaigns and, because all are affected by male stereotypes, all people have a right to say how we should shape the male identity. We are open to women and LGBT people joining, and we have Jennie Killip, the UMSU womens officer on our executive. Rest assured any misogyny from members will be questioned and condemned should it occur.

Think on,
Ben Wild

The Masculinity Exploration Networking and Support (MENS) Society Resources

Friday, 5 February 2010

Advice on Relationships and Sexuality

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